Bits of Beautiful Being

Have you been feeling like it’s all a bit too much lately?

I know I have. With everything going on in my life and the world, my capacity to focus, retain things, stay motivated, and take on anything new has diminished significantly.

I noticed I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the things demanding my attention, taking up my brain & heart space, cluttering my desktop, vying for space in my calendar, etc., so I started de-cluttering, filtering and streamlining like crazy to create some much-needed mental space. That's helping a lot.

But the thing that's helping me the most?

I've been adding more spaciousness into my days.

That is, I'm taking opportunities to come into the present moment and enjoy it fully.

For example, the other day before a call, I cozied up under a soft, fuzzy blanket, put on soothing music and LED candles, sipped warm tea, and gave my cat some head scratches and belly rubs. It felt divine! And I exclaimed, I want to do this EVERY day!

It was just 5-10 minutes of allowing myself to slow down and completely relax.

A bit of Beautiful Being sprinkled into my day.

And you know what? That small moment transformed my energy for the whole day!

So…why not sprinkle bits of Beautiful Being into your day too?

Here are just a few ways you might choose to do this:

• Eat lunch away from your desk and, while you eat, journal about something that's on your mind.

• Take a pause between meetings - or stop in the middle of a stressful task - to close your eyes and breathe deeply for 10 breaths.

• As you walk somewhere, put your attention on noticing how the light hits the coloured leaves, or what shapes you can spot in the clouds.

• Wash some dishes, and enjoy the warm water, the bubbles, the motion of scrubbing, the drying.

• Make a delicious snack and eat it by taking tiny bites so you can savour it all and make it last longer (I love to use tiny spoons for this purpose!)

You can sneak bits of Beautiful Being anywhere in your day. They don't have to take much time at all - and they don't require fuzzy blankets and a cat!

But they do feel exquisite and refill your cup so you are operating at your best.

Let these bits of Beautiful Being in your day be a celebration of your mattering on this earth.

You deserve to feel so deeply nourished, centered and alive. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

What are you grateful for in 2020?

Boy, the anxiety & overwhelm just keeps ramping up, doesn't it?

With the second wave of the pandemic upon us, lots of people unemployed and underemployed, racial violence still happening, and the U.S. on fire in so many ways, it can be easy to spend much of our days feeling anxious, enraged, overwhelmed, terrified and in despair - this on top of the daily stress we all experience.

But, as many Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving recently, we got a much-needed opportunity to turn within and look for the places in our lives that feel rich with meaning, goodness, beauty and love.

At celebrations that didn't look anything like what we're used to or what we'd hoped for, we paused to notice and appreciate the many blessings in our lives... and to remember that, in this moment, all is well.

Gratitude is needed in this world now, more than ever.

Practicing gratitude can shift our energy in powerful ways. That's because Gratitude is the antidote to Anxiety. The latter one cannot exist where the former one is.

Put another way: Gratitude is like a flashlight, and where it shines, the shadows of Anxiety dissipate.

That means that the more time you spend each day in the present moment, noticing what you're grateful for, the less time you will put your attention on the future, worrying about outcomes you can't control or predict... And you'll be calmer, more grounded in what matters most, and feeling more in control of your life.

Here are a few simple ways to introduce more Gratitude into your daily life:

1. Keep a Gratitude journal. At the beginning or end of the day, take a few minutes to capture a minimum of 3 things you're grateful for in that moment.

2. Put periodic reminders in your phone. When you get the notification, stop and put your attention on what's going well. (And there's an app for that too! Look up "gratitude apps" to find one that's right for you)

3. Make a suppertime ritual. Have each family member share something they're grateful for (why only save this ritual for Thanksgiving?)

What we pay attention to, expands. What we feed, grows.

And I know that you, with your big heart, want to co-create this new world from a place of abundance, hope and love.

A magical power that's within you

This morning I was walking with my four-year-old, when he tripped and fell on the pavement. At first he started wailing, but then he and I quickly worked our magic together to move him from that initial shock and unbearable stinging to feeling calm, cool and collected.

What was the magic we used?

Deep breathing.

We have a saying in our house:  "Use your magical breath!"

Deep breathing has been getting us through countless injuries, waves of frustration and anger, needing to go to the bathroom badly, anxiety and overwhelm... you name it!

I first experienced the true magic of breathing while in labour. My two kids were born naturally - even with some painful complications! - and without a doubt, I know it was because I kept on breathing deeply throughout it.

Breathing deeply kept me rooted firmly in the present moment - so I wasn't concerned with what might go wrong. It made the pain and discomfort more bearable, and it connected me right to my power and strength... and a knowing that "I Can Do This."

My breath carried me steadily through those two epic journeys!

Since that incredible revelation, any time I injure myself or find myself feeling out of control or overwhelmed, I've gone back to that deep breathing and found that it calms me instantly and returns my power to me.

While I've used breathwork with my kids over the years, it wasn't until I started framing it as being magical that it really "took off" with them (yep, marketing is everything!)

I call breathing a magical power because it is.

Think about it: Isn't it a miracle that, for those of us without respiratory issues, we can breathe all day and night long without even thinking about it?! Our breath is sustaining our life and yet it comes effortless to us! And what’s more, we can use it any time to consciously heal ourselves and make us feel calmer, stronger and more capable!

It's a freakin' superpower!

I wanted to share this with you because I realized today that I’ve witnessed such a huge change in my kids - and myself - since I've introduced the tool of Magical Breath into our family. The level of calm in our family has become much more consistent, and I know my kids' sense of what they are capable of enduring has greatly expanded. Mine has too.  ;-)

Deep breathing is a powerful tool you can use to manage your energy any time you're feeling out of control or overwhelmed.

So go ahead: unleash that magical power of yours!

And breathe in the knowledge it carries:

You Can Do This.

You can't step in the same river twice.

"I am angry."
"I feel angry."

What's your internal experience when you read each of these statements? Does number one feel heavier or more intense? Do you feel less attached to the emotion in the second one? I know that's true for me.

Why do we use the words "I am" to describe how we feel? When we do this, we're essentially claiming the emotion as part of who we are.

No wonder we try to push painful or uncomfortable emotions away! If we believe subconsciously that we'll be stuck with them, it only makes sense that we'd try to avoid feeling them at all costs.

But when we change the language, it reflects the reality: an emotion is a physiological experience that we have...and then it's over.

Emotions are "energy in motion", and they are fluid and ever-changing, like a river.

That's great news. We have emotions. We are not our emotions.

Knowing this, we can allow ourselves to experience them fully, and trust that they'll pass.

Just as who we are today is not the same person we were yesterday, our emotional state is always changing too, in response to our thoughts and external circumstances. One minute we can feel full of joy, and then a piece of news can send us into despair. We'll feel deep sadness for the state of the world and then notice we feel immense gratitude for our own situation. Every emotion we feel is valid and true in that moment, and then it passes.

We can't step in the same river twice.

We can take comfort in this fact. The dark, cold swirling waters we're in will soon be swept away with the current to make way for warmer, calm waters. Then the winds will pick up and bring waves...which we can trust will pass soon too.

All that's required of us is to keep swimming downstream, going along for the ride.

How does one do this exactly?

1. Notice what we're feeling in the moment, or call up the feeling later when it feels safe to do so.

2. Allow ourselves to fully experience what's there - whether it's pleasant and unpleasant - without judgment or resistance.

3. Notice when things naturally shift and a new energy/feeling emerges.

What emotions have you experienced in the last 24 hours? Simply naming each one is validating and powerful.

Are there any emotions that feel like they haven't been fully expressed - any emotional hangovers? I invite you to make space to feel them completely and trust that they will pass when they're fully expressed.

How to live in uncertainty

As we head into Fall, it feels like we've reached another level of anxiety and overwhelm, doesn't it?

There's so much crazy s#%t happening in the world - and we just don't know how any of it will play out. Meanwhile, we're expected to go about our daily life with our fingers very, very crossed. And that doesn't feel reassuring at all!

If one thing’s become clear over the past year, it’s that we humans don't deal well with extended uncertainty. When given the choice, I'm betting most of us would opt for knowing a negative outcome now over waiting indefinitely for an unknown outcome. We wish to know how the story ends. Because then, at least, we could use our time and energy productively to prepare ourselves!

When we don't have any choice but to wait, it's easy to start worrying about what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. In fact, it feels urgent that we address them Right Now.

Sound about right?

And we can find ourselves spending a lot of our time and energy trying to create a fool-proof plan to either avoid or cope with these future scenarios... and ruminating over how ill-prepared, incompetent and incapable - how not enough - we feel to face them.

Can you relate? Me too.

Fortunately, when you feel yourself headed down the spiral - with the Panicked Voice getting louder and louder - you can choose to step off that course and onto another.

You can start by sitting in stillness. And then listen for a different voice.

It's quieter, but it's confident, reassuring and wise.

It's the voice of your inner Nurturing Parent, and it has this truth to share:

You don't have to worry about figuring everything out. Whatever happens, we'll face it together - and we'll get through it.

For now, let’s simply put one foot in front of the other and pay attention to how each footstep feels.

The outcome isn't important. The means are all that matter.

Notice what your experience of hearing these words is.

Do you feel the resonance of truth in it? Did you relax a little?

Are you wondering what this looks like in everyday life?

Here are a few practical things you can do each day:

1. Practice mindfulness. Take opportunities to come into the Present moment as frequently as you can in your day. Slow down and notice your surroundings. Sit in stillness. Breathe. Lean into gratitude.

2. Create special routines - sacred rituals - to mark your day. Routines provide predictability and a feeling of control, and savouring what you’re doing means you’re in the present moment. Special rituals could include a set of morning stretches, washing your face (or hands!), special coffee time, a walk around the block after lunch. The more rituals, the merrier.

3. Engage in more activities that help you let go and be "in the flow." Seize opportunities to play with your kids, lose yourself in creative activities, dance like no one's watching, or simply put up your feet and indulge in your favourite movies, TV shows or music albums. 

Putting our focus on relishing each step forward just may be our greatest defense against the overwhelm of uncertainty.