Crying over calendars?

Last week as the month came to a close, I sat on my office floor with my large dry-erase calendar and psyched myself up to wipe it off and fill in the next four months.

I recognized there was a lot of emotion waiting in this task, so I decided to make it into a ritual and let myself be with it all.

As I erased each month's appointments, I allowed memories to resurface, along with the thoughts and feelings that came with them... The anticipated plans cancelled, forward momentum halted, sense of comfort & control evaporated, capacity to serve limited, best of intentions dissolved, and so much more...

As I erased, I released. I grieved the losses, let go of the disappointments, made peace with what is.

Then, I re-dated my calendar and let myself sit with the discomfort of feeling lost and anxious about the uncertainty of my schedule.

And finally, I took a deep breath and slowly began filling in the few commitments I did have confirmed. As I did so, I felt a sense of calm and hope return.

This is apparently what planning during a pandemic looks like.

If you've been feeling anxious, frustrated and overwhelmed as you navigate a way forward during these crazy times, there are three steps I want to offer to help you cope with the uncertainty:

1. Give yourself time & space to feel all the feelings, without judging them.
2. Take a tiny first step forward.
3. Trust that the next steps will be revealed as you go.

And please know, I'm right here beside you on this journey.